Do you know who's listening? : Do you know who's listening?

Do you know who's listening? : Do you know who's listening?: D o you know who's listening? When you talk about yourself disapprovingly, who do you think hears you? The children. Our words never fal...

Do you know who's listening?

Do you know who's listening? When you talk about yourself disapprovingly, who do you think hears you? The children. Our words never fall on deaf ears when there are children around. Nope, they pick up everything you say. I'm sure this has been proven time and time again when you have let something slip out that maybe was a bit inappropriate thinking those little ears didn't hear you. Then what happens the next time you are in a public place, family dinner, etc.? They lovingly share it too! Oh yes, the little sponges never miss a beat. What about those messages that your daughters hear you say about your body? You know the ones, "I hate my body. I wish I had so-and-so's body. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm not good enough. I'm...." You get the point. What we are missing is how these messages are translated to the young women in our families (and young men too). When we speak of our bodies negatively we plant a seed. The seed will grow as they do and at some point (usually very early) they will start to look at their bodies to see what is wrong with them too. They will start to critique, feel ashamed, and the cycle of self-loathing will begin for them as well.
Years ago I was at an event promoting my coaching services for teens. I had a mom stop by to tell me that her daughter was perfect and did not have any problems. Then she went on to say, "The only problem she has is that she doesn't have any boobs. But I just remind her that it is no big deal because, honey, we can buy boobs." I think at this point I nearly passed out from shock and horror. I couldn't even speak to her I was so horrified. All I could think of was how awful this young girl must feel, what she will feel as she grows up and what other ideas are being planted in her brain that tells her she is not good enough AS SHE IS. I've wondered about her over the years and hoped that somehow she was able to rise above this and love who she is. 
The media, television, magazines, all feed them the same messages. You  aren't good enough as we are. You have to fit a mold of what society will accept as beautiful. The National Society for Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reports that 47% of 5th-12th grade girls want to loose weight because of the pictures they see in magazines.  91% of women on college campuses have dieted to loose weight and 86% report the onset of an eating disorder by the age of 20. These statistics make my hair stand on ends. Why? WHY are we not teaching our children that who they are, regardless of size and shape, is beautiful and they are ENOUGH? The Hollywood actress Kate Winslet has said that she did not grow up hearing any female in her family say they loved their bodies. She said she makes it a point to say in front of her daughter daily, "I'm so proud of my body." I think this is FABULOUS! I can only imagine the self confidence this small act is distilling in her daughter and she in turn will do the same for her daughter some day. 
I'm so passionate about women loving and accepting themselves as they are. I want women to look in the mirror and embrace ALL of who they are REGARDLESS.  I want women to feel comfortable in their own skin because ultimately that confidence, self-love, self-acceptance and radiance will be shared with the little ones. How wonderful to have young women and young men feel confident to stand out in society with their heads up feeling strong, powerful and confident and not worried one damn bit about what they look like but what it is they have to offer to the world. I don't know about you, but this is the world I want to see for my own children and grandchildren.
Just remember that the little ones are listening. They lean on your every word.  The teens, too, even when you think they have totally tuned you out, they are listening. We all have days that we do not feel our best and we feel inadequate. It's okay. I just want to remind you to remind yourself that YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL AND STRONG. I encourage you to write those words on a sticky note and place them on your mirror, your refrigerator, your computer, any where that would be a good place to have a reminder of how perfectly made you are. 
Speak kindly, speak lovingly, be gentle and embrace all of you. Today would be a great day to start! The children deserve our sweet, kind messages. 

Debbie Fisher, CHHC
Certified Holistic Health & Life Coach
Encompassinglife.com

HAPPY, HEALTHY & ALIVE! 

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